1. My Shabbat Komkom.
Many of you who keep Shabbat may be familiar with this komkom, it is usually white or black, and is verified for Shabbat use. You fill it up with water, and there is a big huge buttom at the top that you "press" and then hot water comes out. Why do many people have it? I am still trying to figure out. (Sidenote: why do i have it? I did not buy it, but it has been in my apartment since I moved him) I am very jealous of those who have those hot water things with the little simple easy sprout thing, all you do it push the tap and like magic water comes out. Nope not ours. You may have noticed the quotation marks surrounding the press... this is because when I say the word press, I really mean - use all your weight and multiple times you need to push and heave and work just to get a drip of water. You do this multiple times to fill up a mug with hot water. This is work. Rabbis should begin to ban this instrument of anger. I'm so angry just thinking about it.
2. My Dell Laptop.
There are many things that make me angry about my laptop. I can't even think properly about it, I'm already angry. While my hot water container only makes me angry on Shabbat, my laptop makes me angry everyday. Every since the hard drive decided to crash last year (point of anger #1) for some mysterious reason, the touch-pad decided it's going to be super sensitive, so whenever I type, it jumps all over the place, so i end up deleting passages I've already written(or the entire thing I've written), or sometimes it will jump me into a previous paragraph and I'll just start writing there. So much fun. Solution? I bought a mouse! Not really a solution, just a way to make me angrier... Because even if you have a mouse, you still can't disable to touchpad, so while you type you still get the pleasure of jumping all over your previous text. Next- my laptop decides when it wants to turn on, and when it wants to turn off. I'm sleeping on shabbat, and all of a sudden, I hear my laptop turning on.!! Yeah that's great!! I didn't turn it on, in fact I turned it off before Shabbat, but it doesn't care what I want. And then the heating on it will go off, and make that loud annoying sound (of the fan or whatever) all night while I try to heat, meanwhile the heating is probably burning my hard-drive (as it did last time) FUNNN!!! And last... when the hard drive crashed, my dell representative convinced me to buy more memory, promising me that if i had more memory, then my computer would be faster, and I'd never ever have a problem in the future with my computer freezing or being slow. He is a liar. Donations for a Mac are welcome.
3. The Jerusalem Train.
It's useless, it doesn't go anywhere, it has taken many many many (too many) years to build, Jaffa is now closed and all buses are rerouted to Agrippas, taking me twice as long to get to my desired location. and the worst part it won't even start till August- HOW MANY MONTHS DO YOU NEED TO TEST THE SILLY THING? All i ever see is the train go by with smirk workers on it, sitting in it, with their feet up on the chairs, enjoying their useless ride. I hate the train. and when it begins to run, if it ever begins to run, it goes nowhere, and i'll never end up taking it.
4. Humanity's inability to fly.
Are we not smarter than birds? How did they figure out how to grow wings and fly. Yes, we have airplanes, and jets, and blah blah blah, but those things do not help me get home to my apartment when I don't feel like walking. It's like you are close enough to walk home, but not enough to take a bus, and you are tired and cranky, and wouldn't it be so nice to just rise up in the air and fly home?? Moving sidewalks are also a good idea, someone smart should get on that.
5. Angry Bird Pigs.
If a piece of a building fell on my head, I would die... really why don't you? and a helmet is a stupid excuse.